I’m a sucker for Christmas. Part of it’s that whole religion thing. Some sort of obligation to honor my savior’s birth and all that by stealing a Pagan holiday for my own nefarious ends. With that theft came a grand mutation that even makes the Church who stole the holiday weep. I love that whole sense of love and family that only exists in film but doesn’t in real life. I find pleasure in buying gifts for friends and family more than I do getting things from them. Especially now that I’m older and I can buy stuff for myself more often.

Therefore I’m going to drop my essential films of the Holiday for you guys. No, A Christmas Story is not listed. That’s not a film, that’s an unavoidable Juggernaut that, as hard as you try, you will find yourself watching somehow before the year’s end. The films that remain, however, are still excellent and should become a part of anyone’s annual list of enjoyment.

A Muppet Christmas Carol

Let’s face it, Brian Henson has never been ever to live up to his father’s name. He’s made admirable attempts, but the only film he’s ever made that stands up to Jim’s quality is A Muppet Christmas Carol. Michael Caine shall forever be how I visualize the perfect Ebenezer Scrooge.

One of the most important things in a film like this, in any children’s film in fact, is to make sure the humor doesn’t overpower the narrative. Too often the writers will desperately seek to make gags that distract and are too desperate to garner laughter. Fortunately, A Muppet Christmas Carol is not guilty of this sin. The gags and jokes instead provide flavor to the story everyone already knows, cracking smiles at every turn and still managing to emotionally hit home with the purpose of the store.

This is also one of the few family films where random break-outs into song do not bother me. Each tune is well crafted and catchy, they are far enough apart that they don’t become a nuisance and they only last as long as they need to. The songs become a delight instead of a bore.

On the whole, A Muppet Christmas Carol is not only a holiday necessity, but it’s a well-crafted film that, sadly, marks the best of Brian Henson’s work.

Emmet Otter’s Jugband Christmas

Another piece of the Henson portfolio, this is more a tradition based on my childhood. My mother used to watch it with my older brother when it had shown on television regularly. One year it seemed to vanish until I had to come home early from school due to being sick. My mother and I watched it on Nick Jr. together as it aired, and ever since then we’ve made it an annual tradition.

The age clearly shows and it likely won’t hold up for everyone. However there are aspects of it that remind me of my late grandfather so it appeals on a personal level. Plus, even if I’m no country boy by any sort, the music is well done and enjoyable. There are times I’ll find myself randomly singing one of its tunes without realizing it.

It’s pretty much classic Henson, and if you have children in your household then it’s a great addition to the holiday line-up. Plus, it hits home what Christmas ought to mean better than most of these crappy annual holiday comedies could hope to do.

Scrooged

For after the children have all gone to sleep. You don’t know Bill Murray until you’ve seen some of his classic films from the 80’s, and Scrooged has him portraying a corporate asshole in a manner that only Murray can do.

Despite being yet another retelling of the Dickens classic, the modern setting gives the film a proper twist as well as a new sense of relevance. The three spirits are all handled in a creative manner, and also bring suffering to Murray’s character that you’ll cheer for at first. However, by the end you’ll begin to pity him as you realize just how easy it is for any of us to become such a monster. Life is hard and cruel, and in the end its always a matter of making difficult choices between practicality and emotion.

While plenty of the special effects will certainly show their age, the humor is as good as any. If you don’t enjoy this film then you should check into the nearest mental hospital. There’s something wrong with you.

The Ref

Probably my favorite holiday film on this entire list, The Ref stars Denis Leary as a jewel thief that manages to screw up a gig in upper-middle-class Connecticut. On the run from the cops he aims to take advantage of a typical family during the holidays in order to hide out, but there’s a bit of a problem. Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis are anything but happily married.

Oof, sounds like a terrible comedy, doesn’t it? Only it’s anything but. Anyone that has grown up in or had contact with a greatly dysfunctional family will fall right into this film. All the values of the holidays are tackled from a completely different direction and the true importance of a strong family is revealed. The smallest things can cause discourse, which can then generate ripples that form waves of misery.

Yet the film has a happy ending after all. By the film’s conclusion you’ve grown attached to Leary’s character and the rest of the family. Even despite having such a serious and heavy undertone on family and dysfunction the laughs never stop. It is easily one of the best comedies created as a whole, let alone for the holidays. If you’ve never seen it, do yourself a favor and rent it.

Die Hard

What? It takes place on Christmas!

While it may not really have much to do with the holidays, it’s a perfect excuse to watch one of the greatest action flicks of all time. Take everything you’ve ever known of action films to be true and throw them out the window. Yeah, Die Hard has explosions and gunfire, but that’s about where the similarities end. Alan Rickman plays an appropriately genius villain taking advantage of the predictability of law enforcement’s education, manipulating and toying with police and F.B.I. alike to get results. Bruce Willis brings in his New Jersey attitude to create an appropriately hot-headed protagonist that has the wits and the quips to bring down his adversary. Plus, there aren’t many good guys who shout “mother f*cker I’ll kill you!” in the middle of a brawl.

While some of the film has had catch phrases that will never die (“Yippie-Kay-Yay Mother F*cker!”), there are plenty of other great lines and set-ups that haven’t seen as great a highlight. If you love action films, then you should already know and love this film. If you hate action films, do yourself a favor and give Die Hard a viewing. I don’t mean the sequels, either. They are all fun, but none of them live up to the original.

What films do you watch on the holidays?