I went through some introspection during the process of crafting this video. While the response to it has been positive so far, watching the completed product leaves me with little more than a dissatisfaction within myself. This should not have been the final draft of the video’s script, and the next pass should have been willing to delve more deeply into many of the game’s flaws that I briefly reference. Instead, I wanted to try and get this video out as soon as I could, though a lack of faith in it only contributed to delaying its completion further and further.
I’ve felt stressed every week my blog is missing a post, I don’t put a new video up, and/or I go without a new article on GamersWithJobs. I put pressure on myself to try and be productive, but I ultimately end up feeling burnt out. This leaves me feeling animosity towards my day job, which only succeeds in burning me out even further by time I get home. The energy to do work diminishes and the desire to escape increases. My mental state collapses, as does my diet, which only contributes to further plummets down emotionally draining holes.
However, a few weeks ago I decided I wasn’t going to pressure myself to produce a lot of content. According to Internet Common Sense, you’ll only grow your audience with steady and frequent updates. That my work is already so niche hammers a sense of futility into my mind. When I wrote the script for the Homefront analysis, I began wondering how long it would be, how long it should be, and how much time it would take to edit. As such, the script was broad and vague where it didn’t need to be, and as a result is not the deep dive I typically do in games.
I needed to better demonstate and explain why that final level worked so well for me. I should have been more careful in showcasing the problems with the script and its characters. I should have thoroughly discussed the footage where I uncovered the enemy spawnpoint. While some topics got a sufficient amount of detail, such as the helicopter segment, others are brought up with the brevity of an unbacked opinion. Just as Danny Bilson had the wrong focus, so did I.
From this point on, I want to craft videos to be as long as they need to be. I will not worry about how long it has been since my last video. I will not worry about how long the audio and video editing process may take due to the size of a script. While I don’t want to go into too much detail on topics that don’t warrant it, I still want to make sure I have enough said as to properly demonstrate my conclusion.
There are some other critiques I have of my own work here, but they’re largely just the standard growing pains. I’ve had this channel for a while, but there are still methods I’m discovering to best demonstrate my thoughts and meanings.
In the end, I hope to relieve some of the stress I build up for myself each time I take on a new project while simultaneously allowing myself to craft better videos, whether they’re ten minutes or sixty. I already know what I want to do next, and hope you’ll enjoy it.